


Practice Reading

by captive_hetalian



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Card Reading, Human AU, Human Names Used, Mentions of homophobia, Tarot, mathias pining for matthew, not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27132935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captive_hetalian/pseuds/captive_hetalian
Summary: Takes place in the universe of my fic "Star-Crossed," based off a prompt for hetaween-hetaliaevent on Tumblr.Mathias has a crush on the Tarot-reader at the local pagan shop and has started going in almost weekly just to see him. Today, though, Tadas ends up reading his cards instead, giving Mathias advice he didn't expect as isn't sure he wanted to hear.
Kudos: 1





	Practice Reading

**Author's Note:**

> Not how I expected this fic to go, but these were the cards that turned up.  
> Edit: I just remembered that Mathias has actually been mentioned in Star-Crossed, so this story is non-canon to the main fic.

Before July, Mathias had never before set foot into the magick shop in Pike Place, but now, he dedicated part of his twice-monthly paycheck to the cute cartomancer that sat in the back corner, the shop owner’s large, long-haired cat usually draped over his lap.

Said cat was in his usual place, looking up briefly as the bell above the door rang to announce Mathias’s entry. After a slow blink, the cat returned to sleep, and Mathias smiled, despite his crush’s—he might as well admit it—attention being on the tearing-up client seated across from him.

Matthew’s long, cornsilk hair was in a low bun at the top of his neck, looking like he’d thrown it up that way while rushing out the door this morning. His large, red-framed Urkel-style glasses made his pale blue eyes anime-huge, and his arched eyebrows and wide mouth made each of his expressions clear enough for even someone as socially-dense as Mathias to read him like a book.

While waiting for his turn, Mathias looked over the gemstones on a table near the front of the store. As he moved on to looking over some herb bundles, someone from behind the counter cleared their throat.

Feeling a chill run up his spine, Mathias knew it was Sigurd, the store-owner, before even turning around.

The lean-bodied witch—looking downright lanky, being only an inch or so shorter than Mathias—had deep blue eyes that occasionally looked violet when the light hit them, and Mathias swore he’d seen the witch’s pupils become blocky like a goat’s before. After talking to Matthew for the past few months, he now knew that witchcraft was simply a practice that often was used alongside spirituality or religion, Wicca being the most well-known in the mainstream. Matthew said he followed Feri Wicca, a closed tradition that was founded in California in the sixties, but he’d never shared Sigurd’s tradition, saying religion was something personal, not something to be gossiped about.

Having watched  _ Charmed _ (the old one, but he was digging the new one, too), Mathias knew a tenet of most Wiccan traditions was  _ Harm none _ , but Matthew had admitted this law didn’t govern witchcraft as a whole and that he himself had used binding spells and hexes against bigots he couldn’t handle mundanely.

Whenever Mathias met Sigurd’s gaze, he could just tell that the man would take a law like  _ Harm none _ and stomp on it. If someone told him Sigurd had sold his soul, he’d believe them.

This was his shop, though, and Matthew worked here happily, so Mathias tried to tell himself he was being worked up over nothing and tried for a smile as he approached the front counter. It was made up of a glass case showcasing the more expensive gemstones, some in the shapes of penises and vaginas—for fertility, apparently—and also jewelry with charms Mathias only knew a few names of.

“Miss Frucci is getting a chart reading along with her cards read,” Sigurd informed after a long sip of his Dutch Bros coffee. “They started five minutes ago, and it’s an hour-long reading at the best of times that leaves Mr. Williams drained afterwards, so he’ll have to close his services early today.” He smiled when Mathias worked to cover up his disappointment. “Come into the back, though. I have a new reader starting this weekend, and I’d like to give him practice. No charge.”

The last part was tacked on quickly as Mathias had started opening his mouth to turn Sigurd down.

Maybe it was his habit drilled into him thanks to being a poor college student, but Mathias didn’t like to turn down free things.

“My new reader brought an extra coffee and some pastries from Dutch Bros, too, when he drove down here.”

_ And  _ free food?

“Sure.” The word slipped out of Mathias before he could second-guess himself, and he was suddenly walking around the front counter to the beaded curtain that covered the doorway Sigurd stood in front of.

The back room was larger than Mathias had assumed, nearly as big as the main store area. A door with some Seal drawn on it in brownish-red paint was between two floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and a third person sat at a round table sitting over a faded pentagram on the hardwood floor—the same brownish-red paint as on the door.

The new person had dark brown hair grown just past his broad shoulders, and he wore a black button-up shirt with little Mimikyus printed all over it. He glanced up as Mathias walked in, his teal eyes somehow both bright and soft, and his gaze made Mathias feel weirdly calm, like when he took CBD but without the tired feeling.

“I’m guessing Sigurd bribed you to test me,” he said, and he held out a hand as Mathias took the other chair. “I’m Tadas.”

“Mathias,” the blond man responded, taking Tadas’s hand in a firm shake. “And yep, I was promised coffee and pastries.”

Sigurd brought a twenty-four ounce paper cup and a small paper bag, both from Dutch Bros, from the large desk sitting opposite the book cases. He set them by Mathias as Tadas put away his book and brought out a deck of cards seemingly out of thin air.

“For once I get  _ him _ coffee, and he claims he doesn’t like sweets,” he said, and Mathias wondered what their relationship was.

The way Tadas glared at Sigurd suggested he hated him, but Sigurd’s tone was playful.

“I said I didn’t like sweet  _ coffee _ ,” Tadas corrected, motioning to the cup and bag. “That includes coffee cake, and if I wanted to taste a banana split, I’d rather get actual ice cream.” His expression softened again as he met Mathias’s gaze. “But don’t worry, I made sure he didn’t add butter like he does to his own coffee.”

Mathias’s nose wrinkled as he glanced towards Sigurd, who was heading back towards the shop front as the front door’s bell rang.

“Heathen,” the shorter blonde called, then barked a laugh as though surprised by his own words.

Rolling his eyes, Tadas started shuffling his deck. The backs were silver with rainbows running over them under the fluorescent lighting.

“I was actually hired to read wax drippings,” Tadas admitted, “but I’d rather practice with cards first to exercise my intuition. It’s been a while since I've done divination.”

“Fine with me,” Mathias said, pulling the small loaf of cinnamon swirl coffee cake out of the bag. He took a bite and spoke with a half-full mouth. “I didn’t even know people could tell the future with wax.”

“Divination can come in all forms—dice, cards, pendulums, books, music, wax, eggs… Then, there’s the forms you might only see in horror movies, like using entrails.”

“Like  _ Ninth House _ ,” Mathias said.

“I’ve never read that, actually.”

“I’ve only read the first few chapters. Not much of a reader, but Matthew said it was good.”

Mathias suddenly clamped his mouth shut, freckled cheeks heating as Tadas smiled. He continued shuffling the cards.

“He’s told me that, too. He also suggested  _ House of Leaves _ , which I was reading with my ex before he got too scared.” He stopped shuffling and set the cards off to the side. “I take it Matthew is on your mind often?”

Clearing his throat, Mathias took a long sip of the vanilla-banana-and-chocolate latte.

“Would you like to ask the cards about that?”

Mathias took another long sip and nodded. “Please.”

“This first card will give insight to the heart of the issue.” Tadas laid down the Seven of Cups, upright from Mathias’s point of view but reversed from his. “You tend to dwell on nostalgia, not uncommon for millennials.” He smiled when Mathias chuckled awkwardly. “The this card placed here and in this position tells me that you like to use this as a shield. You recognize you should be moving forward, but the past is what you know. There’s light, however now faint, whereas the path ahead is dark, unknown.”

Tadas laid down a card on top of it—the Eight of Pentacles, also reversed.

“Ah.” He said. “A hard-worker, despite your laid-back attitude. Maybe even a former gifted child, perhaps?” Tadas looked up just as Mathias glanced down at his lap. “I guess this makes it feel like you don’t have much to bring into a relationship? Or maybe you use work as an excuse, saying you don’t have the time or energy to pursue a relationship, even if you want one.”

Instead of waiting for a response, Tadas laid down a card above to the other two, followed immediately by one below them. The one closest to Mathias was the Three of Cups reversed, and the bottom was the Queen of Swords, upright.

“It’s looking already that you’re conflicted, if you’re getting all of these reversed cards already,” Tadas noted. “And these two cards show what’s going on in your mind. Below, the conscious mind, and above, your subconscious. You’re trying to remain logical, almost cold as you consider this potential relationship. Would it be presumptuous to assume you’ve made a pros-and-cons list?”

“Um…”

Tadas chuckled. “I’ve done the same. It’s fine. But you need to remember the emotional part of you, too.” He pointed at the Three of Cups. “You expect things to turn upside-down. This is a big worry that keeps you pulled back. You hope for fun but fear that reality will fail to live up to what you’ve imagined.”

Mathias drew in a breath and took another bite of the coffee cake, chewing slowly.

Tadas set down two more cards at the same time, both also reversed. One was the Queen of Wands, and the other was the King of Wands.

“Interesting.” Tadas combed his hair back from his face from his face with his fingers. “When you look back, you see a more confident version of yourself, a version of yourself you wish to bring back into the present, but that you and the you here today have had different experiences. You need to remember that and learn to uphold this version as much as you do the past version.” He pointed at the King of Wands. “I see you being impulsive. This can be good in some cases. With the kind of back and forth you have, it’s too easy to become too cautious, but you do need to learn to take a step back and think about your next step once in a while.”

Mathias chuckled awkwardly again and drank more of the latte. “Yeah, I’ve been told that before….”

“Again, it’s not always a bad thing, and in this situation, impulsiveness might actually be a virtue.” Tadas put down a card. “Speaking of, the reversed Page of Pentacles is reminding you to learn from a past mistake.” He set down a card right above it, the Six of Pentacles, this one upright. “You’ve given a lot in past relationships, more than you got in return. I’m guessing you just kept giving until you couldn’t anymore.”

Tadas frowned as Mathias’s gaze turned downcast.

Silence stretched for several long beats, and Tadas laid down another card above the Six of Pentacles—the Four of Pentacles, also upright.

“As for fears, I’m guessing you have a traditional background. That can leave a lot of baggage that can feel very heavy carrying around when you go against that grain.”

“Yeah.” Mathias’s voice cracked, and he coughed before drinking more of the coffee. “My parents are Evangelicals. We went to one of those ‘churches’ that was under a tent outside, the preacher yelling about—well, pretty much everything. Everything was sin. I haven’t stepped foot in a church or picked up a Bible in like, four years, but…”

Tadas nodded, seeming to understand. “Lessons like that from your upbringing feel as though they’re deep inside you, deep as your bones. I’ve known plenty of people who, while they don’t believe in Hell, are still terrified of it. That kind of fear is very hard to get past. And people who say, ‘If you’re scared of it, you must still believe it,’ really don’t help.”

Mathias nodded, thinking of some of his classmates and his current roommate. He blinked and looked up, however, at the sound of Tadas tapping on the Page of Pentacles and then the Seven of Cups.

“These are lessons you can learn from, though,” he said. “Your past isn’t all blissful nostalgia, and while the past you”—he tapped on the Queen of Wands—“was more confident, it looks like that confidence was a veneer, realized soon as you found out more about your identity.” Tadas motoned to the Six and Four of Pentacles. “This looks to be tied back to that former gifted child part of you. You’re worth enough as yourself, even if you struggle—and it appears you  _ struggle _ —to believe this.”

Tadas’s face scrunched up as he tried to meet Mathias’s gaze, but he was looking at his lap again.

“Are you seeing a therapist?” Tadas asked. “Even a campus counsellor?” He bit his lip when Mathias remained silent. “It’s something I really suggest. For many people. You shouldn’t work through this sort of thing alone or try to bury it, only to have it dragged up by some glorified cardstock.” He smiled when Mathias managed to hiccup a laugh. “It would really help with any future relationships, too. Help you see things clearly.”

Swallowing, Mathias nodded and promised to consider it.

Mollified, Tadas laid down the last card. “High Priestess, reversed.” He tapped it to get Mathias’s attention again. “You’re not really trusting your intuition, either. You’ve known for a while that these problems have been festering, but you second-guess your own experiences. To ensure the best outcome, you need to listen to yourself, to trust that what you feel, what you’ve experienced, is real and valid and are parts of what built the present version of you. And if you’re not satisfied with this present version of you, then it comes back to you to make changes. And unfortunately, this might be something you need to do by yourself—for now, anyway.”

Not what Mathias wanted to hear, but he couldn’t deny the other things Tadas had said. Maria had been bothering him about seeing a therapist for months, ever since Berwald left him for someone else, right after Mathias finally came out to his parents with reactions he’d expected but still had caused him pain.

Hell, he had the letter his mom sent him in his pocket  _ right now _ in his back pocket, the folds so worn that the paper was close to falling apart and the ink smeared in places due to his tears when he first read it.

“Um…” Mathias stood up, avoiding Tadas’s eyes. “Thanks.”

“Don’t forget your coffee,” Tadas reminded, trying to lighten the heavy mood. “No use letting it go to waste.”

Trying for a chuckle that fell flat, Mathias grabbed the cup and bag. “Right. Um, thanks. Again. I’ll probably see you later.”

“See you later, and many blessings.”

“R-right.”

Mathias left, walking around Sigurd as he goaded a starry-eyed customer into buying the shop’s most expensive piece of jewelry.

Matthew was still speaking with his client, offering her a tissue as he said something Mathias couldn’t hear.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Sigurd had told him the chart reading would go on for over an hour, but Mathias had still hoped for… what? For Matthew to be putting on his coat? About to head out when Mathias asked if he was up to walk with him to a café or an early dinner?

After casting a longing look, hoping Matthew might somehow sense his presence and offer him a smile goodbye, Mathias bit the inside of his cheek.

But Matthew’s attention never wavered from his client, reminding Mathias of how he’d look at him as though he were the only important person in the building. Was that something he just did for all his clients?

Mathias’s heart felt heavy as he left the shop, Tadas’s words and advice spinning through his mind.


End file.
